David Nayfeld, a professional chef, always loved cooking with his daughter, Helena. But after he became a single dad in 2021 and then had shared custody of her, the activity took on new importance.
He realized that being in the kitchen with her was a great way to make the most of their precious time together — and a unique opportunity for connection.
Yes, it's messy, he admits, but it's "totally worth the price of admission," he says. "You're building their confidence, their palate and that relationship between the both of you."
He shares tips on how to cook with kids of all ages, along with hearty, family-friendly recipes, in a new cookbook published in May, Dad, What's for Dinner? Each recipe has a mess rating on a scale of 1 to 4 and is helpfully catalogued as either a "meltdown meal" (made in 30 minutes or less), a weeknight meal or project cooking.
Nayfeld warns that his recipes, many of which are Italian-style, are not strictly "kid food." He hopes dishes like shrimp fra diavolo, handmade ricotta cavatelli and lemony butter beans will raise confident and adventurous eaters.
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, who befriended Nayfeld after visiting his restaurant Che Fico in 2018, is a fan. In the book's foreword, she writes: "Being fully present in the kitchen with someone you adore, and making meals with or for them, makes the world slow down and feel a lot cozier."
Nayfeld, who has spent nearly three decades working in the restaurant business, shares practical advice on how to get your kids involved with meal prep and a classic recipe for meatballs. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
I want to cook more as a family but I don't have much confidence in my cooking skills, and even less confidence about helping my 2-year-old navigate the kitchen. Where do I start?
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
The first time I cooked for my entire family, I was about 9. I cooked fried chicken. The chicken came out raw.
My mom was really nice about it. She just threw the chicken in the oven and it was no big deal. As long as everyone can have a funny bone about it, you can make it through even the toughest meals.
You've been cooking with your daughter since she was a toddler. What are some easy ways to get little kids involved in the process?
They can add ingredients to a bowl, crack eggs, pick basil. When they're ready to graduate to the next level, maybe they move up to grating cheese or peeling carrots.
Allow your kids to do dangerous things carefully in front of you. It's so crucial to their development and confidence in life.
And for older or more coordinated kids?
They might add things to a mixer, use a spatula on the stove, shape meatballs or cookies. Then kids at the next level might take dishes in and out of the oven or peel and chop onions and garlic.
How do you handle the mess of cooking with kids? I know it comes with the territory, but after our last pizza night I was cleaning tomato sauce off the ceiling for days. Where do you draw the line?
Sometimes there's gonna be a mess, right? Next time, portion out the sauce for your son and be explicit with your directions. Tell them where to put the sauce, maybe guide their hand to start.
Twenty years down the line, what's the better story? That your kid threw the pizza sauce all over the place and now it's a hilarious memory? Or is it, "Hey, they nailed it. It was perfect. I had a pizza."
Cooking with kids can be stressful. How do you make it feel less like a chore?
Don't start something fairly ambitious if you need to get the kids to bed in an hour. Save the big projects for a day off where there's more time to play around.
Do you have any favorite recipes from the book to cook with your daughter?
The spicy rigatoni. A lot of parents are scared of introducing spice to their kids. But if you like spicy food and want your kids to enjoy it too, the best way to do that is to develop their palate from a young age.
That's what I've been doing with my daughter. You start with a tiny amount [of spice], and add a bit more over time. Eventually you'll get to a point where they start to crave it too.
The one that brings me the most joy is when my daughter and I make chocolate cake together. It's giant and decadent and isn't something you do all the time.
It's such a cool experience for a kid to see they can make something so magnificent from scratch. It's a mic drop moment in your relationship with your kids when you can achieve something special like that together.
Recipe: A 100% chance of meatballs
This weeknight meal is "heaven for a tactile kid," writes Nayfeld in his cookbook. It makes about 18 meatballs, serves four and takes about an hour to make. Mess level? About a 2 out of 4, Nayfeld writes. The recipe is adapted from Dad, What's For Dinner?
Ingredients
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for greasing
1 pound lean ground beef
1 pound ground pork
1 large garlic clove, grated
1/4 small yellow onion, finely diced
4 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves picked and chopped
2 sprigs fresh rosemary, leaves picked and chopped
2 sprigs fresh oregano, leaves picked and chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
Pinch of chili flakes
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1/3 cup fine dried breadcrumbs
1 cup whole milk
pomodoro sauce (tomato sauce), to serve
Equipment
3 ounce ice cream scoop or digital kitchen scale
Rondeau pan
Instructions
1. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Line a sheet pan with aluminum foil and lightly grease it with olive oil.
2. In a large bowl, combine the beef, pork, garlic, onion, herbs, chili flakes, Parmesan, eggs, salt and 1/4 cup olive oil.
3. In a small bowl, soak the breadcrumbs in the milk until well absorbed, about five minutes.
4. Fold the soaked breadcrumbs into the meat mixture. Mix vigorously with your hands for about 30 seconds until well combined. The mixture will be very wet.
5. Using a 3 ounce ice cream scoop, form meatballs and place them on the lined pan. If you don't have an ice cream scoop, weigh out 3 ounce portions on a kitchen scale and with hands greased with olive oil, form into balls.
6. Bake the meatballs until golden brown, about 40 minutes.
7. Meanwhile, in a rondeau, gently heat the pomodoro sauce over medium heat until it is hot, stirring occasionally.
8. Remove the meatballs from the oven and, with a spatula or tongs, carefully place them in the warmed sauce. Cook on low heat for an additional 10 minutes.
The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter.
Copyright 2025 NPR
