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Panel Questions

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, it is your turn to answer some questions about this week's news. Joanna, airlines are still suffering because of the pandemic. People just aren't going anywhere. But they have been increasing sales to what group of passengers?

JOANNA HAUSMANN: Oh, my God. What group of passengers are traveling right now? Oh, my God. I'm blanking.

MAEVE HIGGINS: Sports people?

HAUSMANN: I'm panicking. I'm also panicking because I'm imagining getting on a plane.

SAGAL: Yeah. It's a little scary, isn't it? I'll give you a hint. They're going to get a lot of sty miles for flying so much.

HAUSMANN: Sty miles?

SAGAL: Yes.

HAUSMANN: Farmers.

SAGAL: No...

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Not the farmer.

HAUSMANN: The animal.

SAGAL: The animals, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HAUSMANN: Oh, my God.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: The pigs. While humans are flying less, pigs are flying more, which is something we thought would only happen when hell freezes over.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Breeders are using 747s to transport animals instead of driving them. Why not? They've got the capacity. It's a great solution for livestock and absolutely humiliating for the chickens watching helplessly from the ground.

HAUSMANN: (Laughter).

ALONZO BODDEN: Oh, do I feel sorry for the aircraft cleaners after a good pig flight. Yeah, you got to clean out the bottom of that thing.

HIGGINS: So wait. They're flying. Like, what did they used to do before? They would just go - they would just drive.

SAGAL: Yeah. They would load them into trucks and drive them. But now there are planes that aren't being used for anything else and airlines that need to make a living. So, yeah, we'll take your pigs.

HIGGINS: It's so - it makes sense to me now. You know, I live here in New York, and all over, there's signs painted everywhere, pigs out. And now I understand...

SAGAL: That must be what it is. They want to fly the pigs to more congenial locations for the pigs.

HIGGINS: Yeah.

SAGAL: That's what the signs mean.

BODDEN: Well, the problem's going to be getting the pigs back into the trucks once this is over. I mean, once you've flown in a 747, you're not riding in a truck like those ordinary pigs.

HAUSMANN: Alonzo, I don't think they're going to survive.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, I think every pig gets a one-way ticket, I'm afraid.

HAUSMANN: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LEAVING ON A JET PLANE")

FRANK SINATRA: (Laughter) All my bags are packed. I'm ready to go standing here outside your door.

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists' dream job is lying to you in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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